Bright Consultancy

Are you listening?

‘Listening is such a simple act.  It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don’t have to do anything else.  We don’t have to advise, or coach or sound wise.  We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.’ Margaret J. Wheatley

Listening is the essence of coaching.  Most of us spend our time half listening:  listening, but not really paying attention, listening, and doing email at the same time, listening, and thinking about what we’re going to say next.  Yet when we are fully, completely listened to, we flourish.

When I reflect on my work as a coach, I realise that many of my clients benefit most from being listened to – from articulating their experience and being heard.  There’s a magic in being fully present in the moment and 100% listening to another person.  It creates a kind of flow that benefits both participants.  It creates a special space alive with possibilities.

When we really listen, and give people uninterrupted space and time, we offer more than just our presence.  When we are able to listen without the need to interrupt, chip in, respond, give advice, get involved, we give people an amazing gift: our belief that they are entirely capable of figuring things out for themselves.  This, too, is the essence of coaching.

Creating space for listening may require making changes.  It can be helpful to notice what helps you to be more present.  I listen best when I am well fed and watered, have limited distractions in my environment, and focus my attention on listening.  It also helps me to take a quiet moment before the conversation to ground myself and connect with my centre.

A great resource for finding out more about powerful listening, and listening as a coaching skill, is Time to Think by Nancy Kline.

Tags: active listening, being a good listener, coaching, coaching presence, Communication skills, Leadership Skills, listening at work, Nancy Kline, Tips for Coaches

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